


To Catch a Bede

by ExcitedKitty27



Series: Humanballs [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: DressedinPinkShipping, F/M, Fluff and Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, Mixed Signals, Post-Game, Romantic Fluff, Teasing, Unintentional flirting, malfunctioning pokeballs, the mechanics of pokéballs are really underutilized
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29870706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExcitedKitty27/pseuds/ExcitedKitty27
Summary: Hop has invented a new pokéball designed to catch pokémon during the daytime. He has recruited Gloria to help him test out his new "Dawnballs" on the local Wooloo population. Gloria decides to bring Bede along to help out.Unfortunately for Bede, it seems Hop has forgotten to implement a very important safety feature to his pokéballs. Even more unfortunately for Bede, Gloria doesn't seem to notice the mixed signals her teasing is sending.
Relationships: Beet | Bede & Yuuri | Gloria, Beet | Bede/Yuuri | Gloria
Series: Humanballs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212047
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	To Catch a Bede

**Author's Note:**

> So hi, I'm a first time poster. I made this self-indulgent fic mostly to inspire other people to take up this idea. There is a tragic lack of exploration of the power dynamic surrounding pokéballs, which is weird because Pokémon Black and White 2 had that whole time travel movie you could act in about that very concept. You know, with the bug pokemon and the human balls? Am I the only who remembers that?
> 
> If you spot any typos or think there's a tag I should add, feel free to comment. There's about a 70% chance I'll read it and correct the issue.

"That's Wooloo number 234." Gloria picked up the pokéball and dusted off the dirt it had accumulated while shaking. "Only 266 more to go."

Bede groaned as Gloria shrunk the ball and inserted it into her Rotom phone. A prompt appeared on screen and Gloria selected the tiny option in the corner labelled "Release". A Wooloo materialized as a sizzle sounded inside the phone and the fried pokéball was ejected. Gloria unceremoniously tossed the worthless ball into the ever growing discard pile as the Wooloo ran off.

Bede grumbled, "That's 235, now."

Gloria turned to watch Bede release his captured Wooloo. He was wearing that ridiculous oversized purple jacket he wore years ago during the challenge, though by now, Bede had almost grown into it. Gloria turned away and grabbed a new pokéball from her bag as she prepared to chase down another Wooloo. "I never believed I would see you in that old coat again. I thought Ms. Opal made you get rid of it. You know, since it's not pink?"

Bede gave an affirmative grunt. "She tried several times. I told the hag that unless she managed to find a pink duplicate, I was keeping it. It's too comfortable to just throw away."

Gloria glanced at Bede as he fumbled with a pokéball. "I think you're just sentimental."

"Practical, more like. Of course, I never get to wear it anymore since I have to wear the gym uniform to work." Bede cursed as the ball he was holding slipped out of his hands, turning to Gloria. "Why are we doing this again? We already caught over two hundred Wooloo! Is that not enough to prove these "dawnballs" work?"

Gloria watched as Bede's dropped ball tumbled downhill. "I dunno. Hop said the testing process for pokéballs is quite extensive."

"Five-hundred-Wooloo extensive?" 

"No, five-hundred-Wooloo-just-to-apply-to-the-league-for-further-testing extensive."

"That's ridiculous. If these things can really mimic duskball capture rates during daylight, the league could make a fortune selling them! Can't he just give them the design and they can see for themselves if it works?"

"That's quite a change in tone from earlier." Gloria mimicked Bede's voice as she quoted their earlier phone call. " _Hop thinks that he, a complete amateur, has managed to crack a problem people with ten thousand times his budget haven't yet solved? I'll be right there. I need to come watch this unprecedented disaster unfold._ "

"I've clearly been proven wrong, which is a first for Hop. And you sound nothing like me." Bede bent to pick up his dropped dawnball, only to find it missing. "Where'd my ball go?"

Gloria pointed down the hill to the Wooloo that the ball had rolled under. Bede gave a sigh as he trekked downhill and reached for the ball, only to receive a solid kick in the chest for his effort.

Gloria cringed as Bede clutched his torso and the Wooloo ran off. She'd received quite a few kicks from Wooloo in the past. "You probably should have caught the Wooloo with a _different_ ball, and _then_ grabbed the ball you dropped."

" _S-shut up,_ " Bede wheezed. He picked the ball up with one hand as he held his stomach in the other. Bede kneeled in the grass as he slowly regained his breath. "After today, I never want to see another stupid, fat sheep-"

Gloria threw the ball she was holding at Bede. " _Oi!_ Stop insulting the Wooloo!"

But instead of simply bonking Bede in the head, the ball opened up as Bede was shined in a bright light. Gloria gasped as he melted into the light and was absorbed into the ball. She rushed forward as the ball shut and landed on the ground. The first shake came as she was half-way down the hill. It shook again as she tripped at the foot of the hill. Just as she finally had finally reached the ball, the third and final shake subsided as the ball locked with a click.

Gloria froze in her panic. She had never heard of anything like this happening before. Pokéballs have always bounced off people and already registered pokemon. She had no idea what capturing would even do to a person! What if the ball had mutilated Bede in the capture process? What if he couldn't be released at all? What if he was already dead, or his data had been erased? Would it be better to get the ball to a doctor in case releasing him might hurt him, or better to free him now before something goes wrong with the ball?

Gloria went with her gut, and freed Bede. He fell onto his back, his expression blank. Gloria huddled over him, checking to make sure he was still all there. "Bede, are you okay?!"

"I-" Bede's eyes sharpened as the shock wore off. He reached up with both arms and clenched his fists. " _I am going to strangle Hop!_ "

Gloria breathed a sigh of relief as she held the offending ball in her hand. Bede was fine. He was not, however, happy.

"Gloria." Bede looked at Gloria, his voice dangerously quiet. "There is one rule. One overarching philosophy that every pokéball from the first primitive apricorn balls to the mythical masterball have ingrained into their very designs. Do you know what that rule is?"

"No, but I think I can guess from the context." Gloria gave a sheepish smile as she helped Bede up. "Look, you're okay. No harm done, other than the nasty bruise you'll get from that Wooloo. Come on, let's go back to the lab and tell Hop what happened."

"No harm done?!" Bede's face flushed red from his anger as he started yelling. "Do you realize how incredibly **dangerous** and **illegal** Hop's pokéballs are?!"

Bede poked Gloria's chest for emphasis as he continued. "We're not talking about simple safety measures! The fundamental idea of a pokéball relies on the fact that it **CANNOT** , even with extensive modification, catch a human! Not even the criminal organizations in Kanto ever dared to cross that line!"

"So Hop needs to redesign his pokéball." Gloria kept a nervous smile as she tugged Bede's arm towards the pokéball discard pile, trying to distract him from his anger. "Let's clean these up and get going."

Bede stayed put. "Do you know what these could do in the wrong hands?! What if a stalker got one of these?! Murderers?! Vengeful pokémon?! Imagine if Mewtwo had gotten one of these after escaping his creators!"

Bede started marching towards the lab. "I'm going to give Hop a piece of my mind! If he doesn't immediately destroy every single one of these cursed balls and burn the schematics and tools used to create them, I will bring the full power of the league down on him! He's lucky I don't call them right now and get him stripped of his grant and license! That insane, impulsive knucklehead!"

Now it was Gloria's turn to get angry. Bede had a point about the danger of the pokéballs, but she wasn't about to let him get her best friend into serious trouble. "That "knucklehead" is my friend! He made a mistake, and now you're treating him like a criminal! Do you want me to mention all of _your_ mistakes?"

Bede whipped around to face Gloria. "My mistakes don't put the entire world at risk!"

Bede froze as recognition passed between the two. Bede opened his mouth to try to defend his statement, but then closed it as he realized there was nothing he could defend. Gloria put her hands on her hips. "You want to try that one again?"

Bede turned and sulked towards the pathway. Meanwhile, Gloria groaned. She had thought Ms. Opal had helped correct Bede's attitude, but lately he kept slipping back into his old snotty and irritable ways. He had spent this entire trip throwing constant insults at the Wooloo and making snide remarks about Hop. Maybe he needed a reminder to be more polite. Gloria glanced down at the ball in her hand and made a wicked smile as an idea came to her head. "Hey, Bede! Come back here!"

Bede stopped a few dozen meters away and shouted back, "No! We need to go!"

Gloria held out the pokéball and pressed the central button. "Bede, return."

* * *

Bede’s body was again stolen from him and all of his senses with it. There was nothing. No sight, sound, smell, or touch. The ball attempted to lull him into a deep sleep, but Bede refused and continued to struggle. But there was nothing to struggle against. Not like the first time he was captured, when Bede felt that if he could push hard enough, he might be able break free. This time, he was completely powerless.

Bede had almost accepted his fate when he rematerialized and received a face full of dirt. Gloria let out a poorly suppressed snicker above him. Bede couldn’t believe it! Gloria was treating this all like some kind of joke!

On second thought, Bede _could_ believe it. It’s exactly the sort of thing Gloria would do. Bede flipped himself over to find Gloria standing near their discard pile. She tapped her foot. "I think you’ve forgotten about something important. If the dawnballs are dangerous, we need to clean up these discarded ones before someone finds them."

Gloria was irritatingly correct. Bede pushed himself up as Gloria started stuffing the discarded balls into her backpack. "You could’ve just reminded me instead of shoving me back into that bloody ball."

Gloria made no attempt to look back at Bede. “Well sure, but pokémon are supposed to obey and trust their trainers.”

Bede froze where he stood. " _Excuse me?_ "

Gloria calmly continued packing up the balls. "You were caught by a pokéball I threw. That makes me your trainer, and you my pokémon."

Bede gave an insulted huff and crossed his arms as Gloria collected the last of the dawnballs and walked back towards Bede. "I am **NOT** a pokémon. I am a human being."

Gloria gave him a patronizing smile and patted his hair. "Oh silly Bede! Humans can't be caught by pokéballs." Bede swatted her hand away, but Gloria continued, "I'm going to have so much fun with my new pet Bede."

At this, Bede nearly choked as he felt his face heat up. _"_ What do you mean, _pet?!"_

Gloria gave no indication that she heard him as she began walking back towards the pathway. "Come along, Bede! I want Hop to meet you! I don't think he's ever seen a Bede before. They're so rare. I might even say you're one of a kind."

Bede regained control of his legs and quickly caught up with Gloria. "This isn't funny!"

Gloria stopped and pinched Bede's already flushed cheeks. "What adorable sounds you make! _Bede bede! Bede? Bede bede._ "

Bede grabbed Gloria's hands and ripped them away from his face. "I know you can understand me!"

Gloria continued staring up at Bede like he was some small baby or pokémon. " _Bede! Bede bede bede!_ " She laughed, and it sent shivers down Bede's spine.

"Gloria! Stop this right now!" Bede tried to grab onto Gloria's shoulders but found his body yet again disintegrating into light. When he reappeared, he managed to land on his feet, but still tripped onto his knees.

"No! Bad Bede! Pokémon don't attack their trainers!" Bede turned to find Gloria wagging her finger at him. When he sighed, Gloria relaxed her posture. "But it's okay, Bede. I forgive you."

Bede glared daggers at Gloria. "I didn't ask for your forgiveness!"

Gloria gave a sudden squeal. "Oh! I could take you camping in the Wild Area with my other pokémon! You'll have so much fun playing with them! Of course, a couple extra hands to help set up my tent wouldn't hurt."

Gloria clearly wasn't going to stop her teasing anytime soon. Bede resigned himself to just keep quiet and not feed the troll. Bede began to pick himself up.

"And on nights when my tent and sleeping bag alone can't keep out the cold, I could snuggle with you and my Cinderace."

Bede fell back into the grass. Did Gloria just casually mention snuggling with him? "W-what?"

Gloria flipped Bede around to face her, kneeling to be eye level him. She brushed the dirt off his coat. "Of course, you're not very strong, are you? You probably couldn't handle a Wild Area battle, so it might not be a good idea to take you camping."

Bede was still too disoriented from Gloria's previous comment to give a retort, though she wasn't exactly wrong. A low level Wooloo had just knocked the wind out of him, after all.

Bede felt Gloria's stare as she scanned him. "No, you're probably more sorted to a pokémon fashion show. I could dress you up and put a cute little bow in your hair!"

Bede shuffled his way backwards as he felt his lower stomach twist into knots at the image of Gloria brushing his hair and dressing him. "Do you even know what you're saying?!"

"We would definitely win if we entered! What judge could resist that cute face and hair?" Gloria closed the gap Bede had made between them. "Too bad about that sassy nature of yours. Well, it's nothing a nature mint can't fix. I was thinking maybe mild, or perhaps docile."

"Docile?!" Bede imagined himself by Gloria's side, docile, _obedient_ , and it sent shivers down his spine. He could feel the burning blush on his face, and he was certain Gloria could now see it. "This is still just a joke, right? You're just teasing me. Stop it!"

"Of course, then I'd have to share you with everyone else. It might be better to keep you a secret so I could have you all to myself." Gloria lifted her hands as if presenting a news story and said, "Gym leader Bebe disappears."

Bede couldn't stop trembling, and he told himself it was from fear; Gloria was threatening him. "You wouldn't dare!"

"It would make a good excuse to retire as champion. 'Oh I just couldn't find any will to battle now that my friend is gone.' In sorrow, I would move out to the countryside and live in isolation." Gloria gripped Bede's shoulders. "But unknown to everyone, I'd know exactly where you were. I'd know where you were because you'd be living with me as my pampered little Bede."

This finally made Bede crack. He covered his face with his hands and closed his eyes. "Gloria, _please stop!_ "

Bede felt Gloria lift her hands away, and after a few seconds of silence, he heard a familiar sizzle. He opened his eyes to find Gloria holding up her Rotom phone as his burnt out dawnball got ejected. Gloria gave him an innocent smile. 

Bede was still trembling. "You released me?"

Gloria shrugged. "I was wondering how long it would take for you to say 'please'. I almost ran out of things to tease you with. I was about to start ad-libbing about putting you in pokémon daycare."

Responding to Bede's shocked silence, Gloria's smile turned teasing. "I didn't actually get you for a moment, did I? Did you really believe that I, the upstanding Galarian champion that I am, would kidnap one of my own gym leaders and best friends and treat him like a pet?" She laughed. "You should see how red your face is! You look like a beetroot! That's what you get for insulting the Wooloo and Hop!"

It was all just a joke? 

What was Bede thinking, of course it was a joke! He had known that from the very start! He was an idiot for letting her trick him for even a second! He should be furious at her for pranking him like this or embarrassed that he let himself get fooled. So why did he instead feel so… empty?

Gloria stood up while holding Bede's hand, pulling Bede onto his feet with her. "Well, it's about time we report to Hop, don't you think?"

Bede barely processed her words as she walked away, instead reaching into his jacket pocket. He pulled out the dawnball he had picked up after getting kicked by the Wooloo. As he held it in his hands, he thought about doing something very stupid.

* * *

Gloria suspected she may have gone a little too far when teasing Bede. She had expected him to simply get irritated by her egging, but towards the end, he had started to look more embarrassed than anything. Maybe she had hit a sensitive subject for him. She'd have to ask him about it later, and possibly apologize.

Just when Gloria realized that Bede wasn't walking beside her, she heard a sharp click behind her. Gloria turned in place, noticing a lone dawnball sitting on the path with no Bede in sight. Had Bede run off? Gloria now definitely knew she had gone too far.

She picked up the ball and noticed it wasn't empty. Gloria freed the contents, and Bede stood before her with his face turned away. He must have accidentally caught himself. That would explain why he still looked so flustered.

Deciding not to bully him any longer, Gloria placed the ball in Bede's hands. "You probably want this, right? Try not to accidentally catch yourself again. You made me scared you had run away."

Bede refused to meet her eyes as he pushed the ball back into her hands. He muttered, "Don't make me have to say it."

What was that supposed to mean? Was he teasing her back? Or-? Gloria's mind suddenly remembered everything she had said. _Snuggle with you. Dress you up. Docile. Keep you all to myself. My pampered little Bede._ It all clicked in Gloria's head, and she made an audible "oh".

Gloria hadn't meant to imply anything romantic, she had simply intended to push Bede's buttons with ridiculous statements and suggestions. But that's not what it would have sounded like to Bede, would it? So now here he was, the famously proud and fiercely independent Bede, _accepting her offer._

Gloria stared slack jawed at Bede's turned head, her own face quickly matching Bede's blush. After a moment, she questioned Bede. "You're serious?"

Bede looked down and coughed. "N-not all of it, of course. I want to keep living my normal life, and I never liked fashion shows. But I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to spending some time with you as your…" His voice trailed off.

"Sure." Gloria's immediate answer surprised herself. Was she really okay with that? Her question answered itself as she peered into Bede's face. He was always so cocky and defensive, even after he got eliminated from the Champion's trial. But right now? He was completely timid and vulnerable. Adorable. "How about you come to my place Friday afternoon? Just message me before you leave."

Bede finally looked Gloria in the eyes. His eyes looked fierce, which given the context, made Gloria want to giggle. "You don't tell anyone about this! Not a single soul!"

Bede turned and started walking away before Gloria could respond, which Gloria wasn't planning to allow. She quickly closed the distance between them and planted a kiss on Bede's cheek, freezing him in place. "It's a date then. I'll take good care of you, my Bede."

**Author's Note:**

> Bede always struck me as the kind of guy who acts super tough, but secretly craves the idea of putting his complete trust in someone else. Of course, he's way too paranoid and proud to ever admit that explicitly. Maybe I'm just projecting, idk.
> 
> Anyways, I'm not a smut writer, so I hope you weren't expecting anything more saucey than the ending kiss, but I did tag this as teen and not explicit, so 🤷. I *might* write a sequel if there's enough support, but this a strictly romantic and smut-free relationship, so expect only cuddles and emotional drama from me in the future.
> 
> I do want more pokéboys captured and teased, though. This was human/human, but I would look favorably upon someone taking Gardevoir to the extreme of literally capturing or kidnapping of their trainer to "protect them" instead of just writing horny fics. I might have to do it myself.


End file.
